My Dungeon, Theseus and Apartment Hunting

My apartment has a dungeon.

We only go in there when we absolutely have to, because we are afraid of being cursed or something. This is not a joke.
When I first moved in, the apartment was a one bedroom, with two person occupancy. One bed was randomly in the living room, across from two chairs. I suspect this was so people could watch the living room sleeper sleeping. STARING AT THEM. We rectified the situation by moving the chairs into the “bedroom,” and moving the other bed into the living space. We did have the option to move the random bed into the bedroom, but we’d be so close we could hold hands while sleeping. While I love my roommate, this was not an option we really wanted to pursue.

I will never admit to having put someone in the dungeon to sleep, because I would never do something like that to another being. I’d also be afraid to lie about anything concerning that room. But, it is an effective threat/discourager when people I don’t necessarily want to sleep with want to come and stay with me.

The word for host (if what I remember from latin class in high school is correct) comes from the word hospes (both guest and host). It also means stranger, which had a really bad connotation back in the day when you could run into highway robbers and weirdos out on the street. But, incidentally in the stories of Theseus, the big T encountered a man willing to put him up for the night. This guy had quite the homicidal racket going on. Procrustes was his name, and decaptation and stretching was his game. Now I’m not really one to judge, but the guy had two beds and was probably a little more than obessive compulsive. One bed was short, the other was long, and you were never given the option to pick one bed vs. the other. He put you in one, and when you were deep asleep, he would either cut off your limbs or stretch you apart until you “fit” the bed. Theseus made quick work of him by being smarter. As far as ancient heroes go, he was actually pretty bright (especially compared to Hercules, what a dolt). 

As I search for my new apartment, I think I might miss the dungeon. But I also hope that my new landlord is not like Procrustes. I suppose these things are somewhat counterintutive to an apartment search, but I never said I was normal. I am legitimately afraid of meeting someone like Procrustes.  Hopefully there is an equally creepy room in my next apartment where I can threaten to put my guests (but not actually make them sleep in). At the very least, it would be good for storage.

*** DISCLAIMER: I am NOT AT ALL implying that my current landlord is like Procrustes.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply ... if you dare

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Discover

A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.

Crumpled Paper Cranes

Fumbling by Leisure, Singing to Cake

Interesting Literature

A Library of Literary Interestingness

thenadlog

What the little people inside my head say...

The Mayfairy

I did it for the whimsy

BEAUTIFUL WORDS

Inspiring mental health through creative arts and friendly interactions. (Award free blog)

You've Been Jaded

Just A Little Orchid, Blooming Away

gaygeeks.wordpress.com/

Authors, Artists, Geeks, Husbands

Emma in Witherland

An Imaginorium of Obscure Dreams and Wayward Tales

Ramblings of the Claury

Welcome to our site. We hope you'll enjoy our pictures, photos and poetry and find inspiration from our ramblings.

LIMITEDEDITIONJ

Before, and then after!

danielandtasco

Mom, Daniel & Tasco

Barb Taub

Writing & Coffee. Especially coffee.

She's in Prison

Poetry by Leanne Rebecca Ortbals

Mark Bialczak

What will I write about next?

Katestrawberry

EnvymeWriting@gmail.com

%d bloggers like this: