Choose Your Own Dilemma

I once spent an entire evening texting my SO prompts in a choose your own adventure/text adventure style.
It ended up that he was great knight to a slightly evil princess, who saved his life from a super evil prince.
Sometimes you have to choose the lesser of two evils I guess.
Personally, I think that life is just a little more interesting when it is peppered with a bit of mischief, so why bother being good all of the time? I’m not saying go out and loot and/or pillage your village, but if you take a walk on the wild side, its probably not going to kill you. Unless its drugs. JUST SAY NO!

Speaking of the wild side, I think I might be headed into dangerous territory at work. The restaurant business is very determined by work schedules, and j just offered myself up for more hours, which means that other people could end up with less shifts. I could really use the money, since I am but a poor student in an expensive city but I’m clearly not the only person who works because they need money. At this point I’m not sure if it is a moral or an ethical or just a plain old problem, but if no one else speaks up about meeting more hours, than am I ok? You must be verbal in the food industry, if not you will get used and abused by customers and upper (or even middle) management. I could be over thinking the issue I suppose. There are only three prep chefs in my restaurant and one to two shifts per day, so no one is in danger of starving if they lead an average folded life. I think my recent hours of standing have maybe gone to my head, and I should probably just go meditate or sleep or something.

If anything has advice or suggestions though I’ll take them into consideration, as always. Bye y’all!

A Snip of Wisdom #6

If you even suspect you have too much cilantro, you actually have way too much cilantro.

Crunching the Numbers

The oddness continues with my sleeping patterns. It turns out I was snoring the entire night last night and my roommate did not wake me up and tell but suffered in silence. She did in fact wake me up by calling me, but did not tell me why she called me, and I assumed she had accidentally dialed me and was asleep. Clearly I make odd assumptions when I am drowsy.

Aside from that, when I woke up, I felt horrible from the congestion! Darn sinuses.

Another thing that happened this week was a black eye. I am so good at keeping my balance constantly that I couldn’t stop at breaking my leg last year, but had to go ahead and hit my face on the ice while doing a scratch spin. A black eye for your last week of classes before summer and your second day at a new job is not the most ideal thing I can think of. Additionally, I did something to my kneecap so that when I put any sort of pressure on it, I think it might tear apart. Such is my life I suppose.

The good thing though, is that I finally get to see my SO after a two month stretch. I can’t wait to have ClassyMan nurse me back to health, I’m not ashamed to admit I like a little pampering. I am a feminist who thinks feminism is being who you want to be. If you are able to make your own decisions, I consider you a free woman and I applaud you!

Next on this episode of notavogon’s Stream of Consciousness, I have a marketing final tomorrow. I know, you can’t believe that me, the self proclaimed ‘poet’ is a marketing major, and furthermore a stats monkey but it is the cold hard truth. Deal with it!

I know that there is a me poem coming soon, one that will finally have me answering the age old question, ‘what is vogonity‘ I’m just waiting on my artist to finish up the sketches. I think you might just like it if you have ever heard of Edward Gorey or even acrostic poetry. Which of course you have because you’re all smart people who enjoy reading and intellectual activities.

Ta ta for now my friends, I’ll write to you soon

I Dream of WordPress

Last night was pretty restless for me. I must have restless body syndrome though because I woke up with no problem (except for the usual one of setting my alarm later and later, but that is besides the point entirely) but according to my roommate, I mumbled for a lot of the night in my sleep. Obviously it didn’t bother me, but I do feel bad because it must have been distracting as she was trying to get to sleep.

One of the only intelligible phrases she heard me say was Freshly Pressed.

That’s right, I even dream about WordPress now. It’s not enough that it sucks on my soul all day, siphoning all of my free time under the guise of my favorite hobby… but now it’s infiltrated my dreams as well.

I suppose if anything must infiltrate my dreams, WordPress is probably the thing I mind the least. The only thing that would be better would be a book that I really like or maybe Pokémon, which is now on Netflix (Squirtle Squad anyone?).

Wow, that was quite the side bar. I hope tonight I dream of getting an internship, or of getting recognized somehow for my odd poetry.

Goodnight my friends, sleep well and odd dreams to you all.

Lying: On Beds, To Yourself, and in Cleaning

For when you should be lying in bed.

I told myself to go to sleep hours ago, but my SO and I were skyping so I didn’t want to. Why an I so contrary with myself all the time? Clearly I have a cognitive dissonance. But enough psychology and self loathing.

I’ve said before how much I hate he English language, but sometimes it makes me so happy. I write poetry in English for two reasons after all (only one of the reasons is that the only other language I know is Latin) and one is because I enjoy working against the confines of language limitations. Getting your meaning out on paper (or online) is one of my favorite pastimes and I do it pretty often. Writing out normally like on this blog does not come quite as easily to me but it is very therapeutic.

So I lied not only to myself but also to you fine folks because I am not cleaning with lye, or talking about its various alkaline cleaning properties. It didn’t happen and is not likely to ever happen because bleach is my mold’s poison.

I am quite out of it as I write this, and I am not even in bed yet though I have had countless opportunities. So I should probably go now, before I say something too revealing, like the fact that my SO and I were very open in our live tonight, and tried to match each other’s declarations. Or that I only did two planks today but ate the equivalent of two packages of Twix bars…
So before all of that damning evidence, good night and good riddance.

Not Just a Pawn, but the Actual Game Board

So, the universe likes to toy with me, which is fine. I’ve accepted this as my fate.

Today after an interview for an internship, it was raining and I had no umbrella. I’m in the middle of the city wearing heels, and I have no umbrella. Thanks a lot. I finally make it out of the rains and back to class (though late) and realize I forgot the homework I was supposed to have prepared. Luckily it was not mandatory, and then class ended. I got a hot chocolate at Starbucks after that.

Here’s where it gets interesting.

The only people who say ‘no whip’ on their hot chocolate are ones who are on a diet or ones who are depriving themselves of happiness. If you disagree you are an outlier!! I asked for no whip because of a little of both, and was pleasantly surprised when the Barista gave me whipped cream anyway. I should have know better.

This was the universe’s attempt at a back handed apology. I got outside and it was raining harder, and even worse was that it got colder and I only had a blazer as a jacket. I ended up running back home, spilling hot chocolate on my computer (not damaging, just sticky) and all over myself in the process.

I only blame myself and the universe. Some days you just have to let the universe do its worst, so that you can have a better or at least only just as bad tomorrow.

Happy tax day.

That Was a Pretty Dumb Idea

Planning a fight was probably not the best thing to do for many reasons. But to ease everyone’s minds, we didn’t actually go through with it. Although we would eventually like to see how we handle disagreement, we decided that being happy is more important than instigating fights. Which should really be common knowledge guys. Just saying.
The reasons why we did not end up fighting are:
First of all, we get along really well and neither of us (at least I hope) is conceding even if we do disagree.
Second, what if I had actually gotten mad about something and not wanted to talk to him? I’d be devastated, and since we don’t live in the same state it would be all too easy to avoid him.
Third, I love him too much to want to plan to get angry at him, or even frustrated at his opinion. At the end of the day, all I want is to know he is there for me, and I am there for him. It doesn’t matter if we’re 1000 miles or 2 miles away from each other, any distance can be surpassed.

I talked with my sister about how my mom made me insecure about having a fight free relationship, and as I talked and probably bored my sister to tears I realized that I don’t have to be insecure. We’re together for a reason, its not like he would use me from 1000 miles away, I mean if he did that would be some oddly misplaced determination…
This is not to say that there haven’t been minor transgressions on both ends, but the honesty is the best part of a long distance relationship.
You can literally say anything to them and still feel comfortable. My roommate commented yesterday that my SO and I seem very comfortable with each other all the time, even in the morning before a shower. She comes from a very physically conservative household, but it reaffirmed my belief that I actually have a meaningful relationship with someone.

I don’t know where it will end up, but to quote a very overused cliche: make love not war. Especially because you should never take any moment with someone you care about for granted.

Planning Your First Fight

I really only tried to instigate it tonight, but we’re planning it for Wednesday. My SO and I get along really well. We’ve been at it for 8 months now, and we’ve done all the declarations of love and stuff that generally come with completely trusting another person. I know it all sounds terribly romantic, and I have to say, it IS.

Just probably not the way I’m describing it right now, haha.
We have never had a fight. With being in a long distance relationship, it seems silly to fight and we don’t usually get that deep into conversations that we disagree on but I am finally going to take the plunge. This may be a horrible idea, especially since I wanted it to be about something that we both feel very strongly about … but it probably needs to happen. We trust each other enough to be okay with it, and have both been thinking the same way about it.
When I brought it up tonight, he agreed … another reason we need it to happen.

Planning your first argument, a lot of things run though your head
-What if we break up from this polarizing topic?
-Does he love me enough to not yell?
-What will being yelled at be like?
-What if there are literally no topics we disagree on? Is it weird to date yourself?
I cannot say for sure if any of these things will happen because obviously we are not the same people and are actually very calm in arguments with other people.

But insecurity remains! I just hope this argument won’t get the best of our relationship, because I really do love my SO – ClassyMan for all of you who follow ohthevogonity, my other site. If I had to use one cliche expression to describe him it would be that he is the bee’s knees. And that’s no joke.

A Snip of Wisdom #6

Take no prisoners

My Dungeon, Theseus and Apartment Hunting

My apartment has a dungeon.

We only go in there when we absolutely have to, because we are afraid of being cursed or something. This is not a joke.
When I first moved in, the apartment was a one bedroom, with two person occupancy. One bed was randomly in the living room, across from two chairs. I suspect this was so people could watch the living room sleeper sleeping. STARING AT THEM. We rectified the situation by moving the chairs into the “bedroom,” and moving the other bed into the living space. We did have the option to move the random bed into the bedroom, but we’d be so close we could hold hands while sleeping. While I love my roommate, this was not an option we really wanted to pursue.

I will never admit to having put someone in the dungeon to sleep, because I would never do something like that to another being. I’d also be afraid to lie about anything concerning that room. But, it is an effective threat/discourager when people I don’t necessarily want to sleep with want to come and stay with me.

The word for host (if what I remember from latin class in high school is correct) comes from the word hospes (both guest and host). It also means stranger, which had a really bad connotation back in the day when you could run into highway robbers and weirdos out on the street. But, incidentally in the stories of Theseus, the big T encountered a man willing to put him up for the night. This guy had quite the homicidal racket going on. Procrustes was his name, and decaptation and stretching was his game. Now I’m not really one to judge, but the guy had two beds and was probably a little more than obessive compulsive. One bed was short, the other was long, and you were never given the option to pick one bed vs. the other. He put you in one, and when you were deep asleep, he would either cut off your limbs or stretch you apart until you “fit” the bed. Theseus made quick work of him by being smarter. As far as ancient heroes go, he was actually pretty bright (especially compared to Hercules, what a dolt). 

As I search for my new apartment, I think I might miss the dungeon. But I also hope that my new landlord is not like Procrustes. I suppose these things are somewhat counterintutive to an apartment search, but I never said I was normal. I am legitimately afraid of meeting someone like Procrustes.  Hopefully there is an equally creepy room in my next apartment where I can threaten to put my guests (but not actually make them sleep in). At the very least, it would be good for storage.

*** DISCLAIMER: I am NOT AT ALL implying that my current landlord is like Procrustes.

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