Would You Like To Sample The Poetry?

I always thought I’d be one of those people who holds out until they got either a real job or a paid internship. But the second I stop looking for an interview and resign myself to a life of academia … My professor gives me a push in the direction of a wonderful company (that I’ve only known about since Thursday and is completely out of my range of knowledge aka the beauty and health services industry) and now I have an internship. Its great!
Things at actual work where I get paid money are good too, I’m making outside of work friends! Oh M G its like I have a social life … AND a successful (mildly) life as a student. I’m pretty freaking awesome guys. Don’t get too excited, I’m still the same old prideful, weirdo who writes poetry any old time she feels like it.

Speaking of poetry I am going to expand my horizons with a coworker, we are going to a slam poetry contest/meet up in the city on Wednesday. I’ve never been, so I expect to be completely out of my comfort zone again, which is good. I need it!

All in all a good week. Stay froody!

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Vogon Envy

I finally start to feel back to normal.
And then he calls.
I never knew long distance could be so hard. We have been long distance practically our entire relationship. It started at a job, where lots of rules were on place. Then at home we live 3 hours away from each other, making a quick date impossible. At school, I am even farther away, and I thought I could handle him being back at the place we met, without me.
I never cry, I don’t usually consider myself very emotional, which is funny because I write poetry. But poetry is my release. Instead of crying I write.
I can count on my hand the times I’ve cried in the past 3 years, but tonight, I am still crying. I try to believe that it is not because of him, CM has to do what he loves, I’m just missing him so much. Sorry but not sorry about the whining. I wrote him a letter and he just got it today and said he would sleep with it under his pillow. The jerk, he knows just what to say to make me love him even more and he might realize it or he might not, but I don’t even care.
And you know what? I am an ugly crier, and not ashamed to admit it.
I get the works, the tears streaming down my face, the blotchy red skin. Sometimes, I even get an allergic reaction from being so sensitive. It is magic.
I should really just take a lesson from the Vogons. They’ve got their stuff sorted out. A Vogon wouldn’t even save it’s grandmother from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without the proper paperwork. Not that I’m saying I want to be bureaucratic, but if I could quash my emotions like that right now it might be nice.
I actually feel better now that I’ve written it down. I guess you all are like my vent, so sorry for blowing off all this steam on you! I’ll be cheerful tomorrow, because I’m ending ‘me time’ it has gone on far too long. I’m an extrovert by nature, and I’ve realized I can’t rely on Netflix and meditation to make me better: I just need my friends and a night out to watch Maleficent.
Sending good vibes your way
-notavogon

There is Definitely a Write Way

A good nights sleep has a lot to do with restoring your sanity. Who knew?
I bought a curtain for my window two days ago, and not waking up at 5:30AM is actually really great.
When I got back home after a day of work and class, starting at 8 AM and ending at 9:30 PM, I realized I wasn’t as mentally exhausted as usual. That state of mind I was in always makes me a bit lethargic, but also feel like I have a million things to do. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it was a manic state, but it isn’t. It is just how I respond when I actually have a million things to do.
Today is my day to restore myself. I can always calm down when I have a me day. Usually it involves reading Jules Verne or Douglas Adams because their adventurous style and sense of humor remind me it could be worse. My brain could be powered by lemons, or I could be stuck under the earth with an impending heat wave about to engulf me, but its not! I know it’s a bit absurd to go to that drastic place, but seriously, BIG PICTURE. Even just writing myself has made me feel more at home in my mind; yesterday my roommate commented that I seem more calm and happy today. Progress!
So, here is my list of things that make notavogon feel more like myself.

1. Reading (Pretty much anything)
2. Cooking (I’m a prep cook right now by profession, but I love coming up with new recipes and spice combinations)
3. Baking (Not the same as cooking, but just as fun, and usually more delicious outcomes)
4. Yoga or other exercise (I’m not technically super in to yoga, but I do like the focus that comes with it)
5. Dancing (hip hop, all day, every day)
6. Practicing (I should really practice violin today…)
7. Meeting strangers (but always remember stranger danger)
8. Poetry (my other blog was how I usually restore my sanity, because writing down the craziness can help with my creativity and happiness, but I’ve had a bit of writers block lately which only makes it worse)
8. That’s all for now, I’m going to actually do some of these things!!

Hopefully I’ll be back with a new poem later today!

Do You Have The Time?

I have gone mad.
Quite simply put, I cannot concentrate on anything, and I have new ideas for poems and have six in the works right now but can’t complete them for lack of concentration. I’m thinking that maybe a mental health day will help me to relax, but I have to go through a 13 hour day of work and class to get there.
I was fine for the two weeks when CM came to visit me, the longest he has ever stayed with me. I usually get sick of people after having been in close contact with them for only a week or even less. I don’t work well on co dependent teams, its either me in charge or me following orders. But with CM, I didn’t need either of those things because we were just hanging out and having fun which I haven’t done in a while. I knew I liked him, and I knew I loved him, but now I’m sure that I’m also in love with him. It might seem like a weird indicator, and it certainly isn’t the only factor in writing this out, but its really nice to have someone you trust and who you consider an equal partner cone stay with you longer than a few days.
After he left to go back home though, the weirdness started. I am pretty sure if I meditate I will be a little more tolerable to my friends, so hopefully it will work!! I don’t want to alienate anyone, but I can’t hang out until I get my mind calmed down a bit. The whole, racing mind thing runs in the family unfortunately. Not a exactly mental illness, just a thing.
When I’ve sorted things out or sorted enough to get a poem out (usually I just have to get things I really need to get finished done, and then I’ll be back to usual) I will be back posting all the poetry you can stomach, and some of the poetry you can’t. Prepare yourselves 😉

Crunching the Numbers

The oddness continues with my sleeping patterns. It turns out I was snoring the entire night last night and my roommate did not wake me up and tell but suffered in silence. She did in fact wake me up by calling me, but did not tell me why she called me, and I assumed she had accidentally dialed me and was asleep. Clearly I make odd assumptions when I am drowsy.

Aside from that, when I woke up, I felt horrible from the congestion! Darn sinuses.

Another thing that happened this week was a black eye. I am so good at keeping my balance constantly that I couldn’t stop at breaking my leg last year, but had to go ahead and hit my face on the ice while doing a scratch spin. A black eye for your last week of classes before summer and your second day at a new job is not the most ideal thing I can think of. Additionally, I did something to my kneecap so that when I put any sort of pressure on it, I think it might tear apart. Such is my life I suppose.

The good thing though, is that I finally get to see my SO after a two month stretch. I can’t wait to have ClassyMan nurse me back to health, I’m not ashamed to admit I like a little pampering. I am a feminist who thinks feminism is being who you want to be. If you are able to make your own decisions, I consider you a free woman and I applaud you!

Next on this episode of notavogon’s Stream of Consciousness, I have a marketing final tomorrow. I know, you can’t believe that me, the self proclaimed ‘poet’ is a marketing major, and furthermore a stats monkey but it is the cold hard truth. Deal with it!

I know that there is a me poem coming soon, one that will finally have me answering the age old question, ‘what is vogonity‘ I’m just waiting on my artist to finish up the sketches. I think you might just like it if you have ever heard of Edward Gorey or even acrostic poetry. Which of course you have because you’re all smart people who enjoy reading and intellectual activities.

Ta ta for now my friends, I’ll write to you soon

Things I’ve Been Told

I’m cryptic.

I don’t speak my mind enough.

I’m too snarky (but really, they mean sassy).

I need to watch Mean Girls FIVE TIMES in a row.

Whatever, I’m me.

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