Do You Have The Time?

I have gone mad.
Quite simply put, I cannot concentrate on anything, and I have new ideas for poems and have six in the works right now but can’t complete them for lack of concentration. I’m thinking that maybe a mental health day will help me to relax, but I have to go through a 13 hour day of work and class to get there.
I was fine for the two weeks when CM came to visit me, the longest he has ever stayed with me. I usually get sick of people after having been in close contact with them for only a week or even less. I don’t work well on co dependent teams, its either me in charge or me following orders. But with CM, I didn’t need either of those things because we were just hanging out and having fun which I haven’t done in a while. I knew I liked him, and I knew I loved him, but now I’m sure that I’m also in love with him. It might seem like a weird indicator, and it certainly isn’t the only factor in writing this out, but its really nice to have someone you trust and who you consider an equal partner cone stay with you longer than a few days.
After he left to go back home though, the weirdness started. I am pretty sure if I meditate I will be a little more tolerable to my friends, so hopefully it will work!! I don’t want to alienate anyone, but I can’t hang out until I get my mind calmed down a bit. The whole, racing mind thing runs in the family unfortunately. Not a exactly mental illness, just a thing.
When I’ve sorted things out or sorted enough to get a poem out (usually I just have to get things I really need to get finished done, and then I’ll be back to usual) I will be back posting all the poetry you can stomach, and some of the poetry you can’t. Prepare yourselves 😉


Choose Your Own Dilemma

I once spent an entire evening texting my SO prompts in a choose your own adventure/text adventure style.
It ended up that he was great knight to a slightly evil princess, who saved his life from a super evil prince.
Sometimes you have to choose the lesser of two evils I guess.
Personally, I think that life is just a little more interesting when it is peppered with a bit of mischief, so why bother being good all of the time? I’m not saying go out and loot and/or pillage your village, but if you take a walk on the wild side, its probably not going to kill you. Unless its drugs. JUST SAY NO!

Speaking of the wild side, I think I might be headed into dangerous territory at work. The restaurant business is very determined by work schedules, and j just offered myself up for more hours, which means that other people could end up with less shifts. I could really use the money, since I am but a poor student in an expensive city but I’m clearly not the only person who works because they need money. At this point I’m not sure if it is a moral or an ethical or just a plain old problem, but if no one else speaks up about meeting more hours, than am I ok? You must be verbal in the food industry, if not you will get used and abused by customers and upper (or even middle) management. I could be over thinking the issue I suppose. There are only three prep chefs in my restaurant and one to two shifts per day, so no one is in danger of starving if they lead an average folded life. I think my recent hours of standing have maybe gone to my head, and I should probably just go meditate or sleep or something.

If anything has advice or suggestions though I’ll take them into consideration, as always. Bye y’all!

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